


come to think of it, i'm aching

by renaissances



Category: Raven Cycle - Maggie Stiefvater
Genre: Angst, F/M, maybe between tdt and bllb?, mentioned noah/blue, not really sure when this takes place
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-13
Updated: 2016-03-13
Packaged: 2018-05-26 13:13:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,037
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6240682
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/renaissances/pseuds/renaissances
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"But the rain is letting up outside, and sunlight pushes through the cracks to paint itself over Blue. She looks like a kaleidoscope. She looks like a flower unfurling. She looks like temptation in human form."</p>
<p>Blue tells Gansey about her kiss with Noah. He's not quite sure how to feel about it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	come to think of it, i'm aching

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first contribution to ao3 and to the trc fandom, so i hope you enjoy! title comes from "so contagious" by acceptance.

It’s raining that Sunday when Blue comes over to Monmouth, and Gansey uses it as an excuse to make her stay. It’s a fragile argument that he knows wouldn’t hold up under further scrutiny (because, really, he can just drive her back in the Pig) but she just looks at him for a long moment and then agrees. It solidifies something within him, something that lets him know she doesn’t want to leave, either.

The thought warms his chest despite the cold.

They’re tangled up in his bed now, the sheets stretched over her legs and crumpled by his ankles. She’s leaning against her chest in a way she only does when they’re alone, and this close, Gansey can smell her wildflower scent. He finds it more intoxicating than he cares to admit.

“Where are the others?” Blue hums, just for the sake of asking.

Gansey truly has no idea, and he tells her so - he assumes Adam and Ronan are off somewhere together, trying to deny their sexual tension, and nobody ever knows where Noah goes when he’s not with them. Blue’s sigh is heavy; it drops between them and shifts the weight of the bed. She turns against him to look up at him, all messy hair and freckles.

Gansey feels unraveled.

“I have to tell you something,” she says, then pauses. “Or, well. I don’t _have_ to, but I feel like I should.”

He reaches forward to brush a lock of her hair to one side. It falls right back in place. “What is it?”

She sighs again.

“Jane?”

“I kissed Noah.”

His fingers pause on her forehead. His heart stops for a second and picks back up again in full force: an action movie paused in the middle of a fight scene.

He says, “When? Where?”

What he really wants to know is, _why?_

Blue looks down at her hands, but Gansey keeps his gaze trained on her. The moment, already fragile, is made of glass now.

Finally, she speaks. “It was… I don’t remember the day. A while back. You were in DC with Adam, and Ronan was gone, so Noah invited me over here.”

“Here? It happened _here_?” HIs eyes drag themselves around Monmouth, over the walls covered with Glendower research and the couch where he has laid with Blue before and the kitchen-bathroom-laundry with all its amenities. He feels inexplicably like his home has betrayed him.

“He… I told him about the curse,” Blue says, “but I think he already knew, in some way. He’s Noah.” Gansey can’t argue this; Noah seems to know everything, one of the few perks of being a ghost. And the curse…

“You knew the curse wouldn’t affect him,” he fills in for her. “Because he’s already dead.”

“Exactly!” She nods fervently, like she thinks he understands. It quells just a small worry in him - Noah isn’t Blue’s true love. There is a risk for him, but not for Noah, and that makes him both happy and sad.

“So,” Blue continues, sitting up a little further so she can face him better, “we were just talking about how much it sucked and he asked if I was curious and it was probably just because your bed was so soft - like, almost hypnotizing - and we just--”

“My bed. It happened on _my bed_?” He stands abruptly, and Blue, not expecting this, crashes against the pillows.

Gansey screws his eyes shut, but it’s too late; he can already see them, blankets up to their chests and pink on both of their cheeks and Noah leaning in and Blue laughing and--

_God_. This is too much.

“Gansey,” Blue warns, or pleads. He’s not really sure which. He’s not really thinking straight.

“I can’t - I just - I--” He sputters for a moment.

When Blue speaks again, her voice is meek enough to make him open his eyes. “I just wanted to know. What it felt like. I didn’t mean to hurt you, but I won’t apologize. I just wanted to know.”

Gansey slumps over and crawls back onto the bed, suddenly exhausted. “Of course you wanted to know, Jane,” he says, the picture of acceptance and gallantry once more. His mind flits to all the kisses he’s had with various girls: his first when he was twelve and she was fourteen, the one on the downstairs floor of Monmouth, the one in the backseat of the Camaro. He remembers places and times, the cold facts of them, but not the girls themselves. Not the knocking in his chest or the blazing in their eyes and he realizes how much he took kissing for granted. It’s another thing to add to the ever-growing list that he’s starting to form in his mind.

Looking at Blue now, he knows he wouldn’t take her for granted. He wouldn’t forget her. He would stop the planet in its course if it meant he could kiss her just once, if he could feel her mouth quiver against his own and finally know who Blue Sargent is without her fierce mask.

His hands are shaking a little. It takes everything he has not to lean forward and risk it all.

“Should I not have told you?” Blue asks carefully.

No. Yes. He grapples with himself for a moment, teetering from the weight of the unfairness of it all. Adam and Blue like to remind him of how he has everything, but he just wants this - this moment that Noah can get, that any other person in the world can steal without a problem - and now it’s being dangled in front of him.

But the rain is letting up outside, and sunlight pushes through the cracks to paint itself over Blue. She looks like a kaleidoscope. She looks like a flower unfurling. She looks like temptation in human form.

Instead of answering, he says, “Just lay with me, Jane. Please.”

She rests her head on his shoulder and her lips rest mere centimeters from his skin - close enough to touch. Gansey, overcome with that burning feeling that spreads from his stomach to his chest to his mind, lets out a sigh of his own.

They stay there for what feels like hours. The world spins on.

**Author's Note:**

> you can also find me at www.gelatonoah.tumblr.com. come say hi!


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